yoshimi

they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me



Sometimes it's hard to see things for what they really are. It's hard to filter past hope and expectations and experience and see what it really is, now, this time independent of everything else. It seems like it would be so easy, doesn't it? It is round and pocked and orange colored, thus it is an orange. Right? Who knows, maybe it is a tangerine. And maybe the girl in the coma is really a superhero. And maybe I am completely wrong about everything that I think. Maybe. But probably not.

It's difficult, when you can't trust yourself. When you have to question your instincts. When everything in the universe seems to be telling you something but you still wonder, even though you know. You know. You know, you know, why do you question? Because you have been wrong before. But not really. Cause even then you knew, you just thought that if you didn't acknowledge it it would not be real. She is not going to die in that hospital bed. She's a fucking superhero. He is not really doing what I think he is doing, he's my damn husband. Or ex husband. This cannot possibly be what I think, because if it is what I think then I am going to lose it completely and I would like to head that off as long as possible. But you can't do it forever. Maybe you can do it the rest of your life, but you can't do it forever.