a pedophile's guide to something or other
or other
Who actually cares what it's called, it's got a buzzword in it. Pedophile. Pedophile. Pedophile. It's not pretty and it's not nice. It conjurs up all sorts of emotions, especially for parents or anyone that has a beloved child or anyone that, well, has any speck of humanity in them. Pedophile pedophile pedophile. It isn't nice. Pull it off the shelves or shut down your store because if you put that word out there I swear to God we will boycott the shit out of you, holy shit we will boycott you right in the fucking face.
Unless you package it nicely. Could you maybe just package it nicely? I don't really like how the cover makes it look like a real person and how the title makes it sound like a serious topic. Maybe if you change the title and take the actual word (pedophilepedophile) out, then it wouldn't be so bad. And I don't really like the format, because it's not catchy. Maybe if you broke the chapters down into verses and laid them over a sweet loop then it would be a little more palatable. Maybe if you hired someone besides a creepy middle aged PEDOPHILE to represent it, then it wouldn't be so bad. Yeah, you got it. Now it's not offensive. Now it's not pushing my buttons. Now it's a god damned Bloodhound Gang album.
You are all hypocrites. All of you. Every single one of you that boycotted Amazon but did not boycott the music industry is a hypocrite. Here is my favorite gem: I don't have to know what's in it to know I don't like it. Well that's fucking precious, because you know precisely what's in that Bloodhound Gang song, and you know which fucking song I'm talking about, and you still like it. You cover your mouth and you giggle like a two year old but you like it and you play it and you bought the fucking album, you fucking, fucking hypocrites. What is the lesson here? That unsavory topics are acceptable as long as they're presented like a joke? That's it's all right and actually encouraged, as long as no one mistakes it for a serious topic? That's it's okay in music and movies and comics but the moment you put it in a book, man you better fucking watch it.
And that's not even true. We've all read Lolita. Or actually, we probably have not. We don't need to know what's in it to know we don't like it. Well I've read Lolita. There's very little bush-beating (pedophile) involved but if you put Jeremy Irons in there and you lay his fabfabfabulous accent over that travesty, suddenly it's palatable. Now it's art. Now it sells a million copies and maybe they banned it once, but that was a long fucking time ago. Back when we were close minded and small. Wasn't it.
It's not the subject matter, we know that. We know that because laughing our fucking faces off at the Bloodhound Gang told us it wasn't the subject matter. It's not the criminal aspect, because we all love Nick Cave who once found Mary Bellows tied to a bed with a rag in her mouth and a bullet in her head. It's not the anti-social horror of it, because the Misfits are warning you, they will put a fucking knife right. in. you. And you know what? If it wasn't for date rape I'd never get laid either! Wheeee!! What is it? It's fucking packaging. It's a very serious topic. It makes us feel very serious. It makes us seriously consider taking our business elsewhere. Even though we've demonstrated that we really don't actually have any problem with the topic, as long as it's packaged properly. The author suddenly isn't a bad guy, he just has a bad marketing department. Take your book and put it in something slick and shiny and call it self-help. Call it a Psychology textbook. Call it anything other than what it is, which is a fucking aberration in ten point font. Call it a joke, and then we'll buy it. Just make sure it's packaged nicely because at our very core, we're a bunch of raccoons. A bunch of hypocritical raccoons with keyboards and logins, and pitchforks and torches. Fucking, fucking people.
Who actually cares what it's called, it's got a buzzword in it. Pedophile. Pedophile. Pedophile. It's not pretty and it's not nice. It conjurs up all sorts of emotions, especially for parents or anyone that has a beloved child or anyone that, well, has any speck of humanity in them. Pedophile pedophile pedophile. It isn't nice. Pull it off the shelves or shut down your store because if you put that word out there I swear to God we will boycott the shit out of you, holy shit we will boycott you right in the fucking face.
Unless you package it nicely. Could you maybe just package it nicely? I don't really like how the cover makes it look like a real person and how the title makes it sound like a serious topic. Maybe if you change the title and take the actual word (pedophilepedophile) out, then it wouldn't be so bad. And I don't really like the format, because it's not catchy. Maybe if you broke the chapters down into verses and laid them over a sweet loop then it would be a little more palatable. Maybe if you hired someone besides a creepy middle aged PEDOPHILE to represent it, then it wouldn't be so bad. Yeah, you got it. Now it's not offensive. Now it's not pushing my buttons. Now it's a god damned Bloodhound Gang album.
You are all hypocrites. All of you. Every single one of you that boycotted Amazon but did not boycott the music industry is a hypocrite. Here is my favorite gem: I don't have to know what's in it to know I don't like it. Well that's fucking precious, because you know precisely what's in that Bloodhound Gang song, and you know which fucking song I'm talking about, and you still like it. You cover your mouth and you giggle like a two year old but you like it and you play it and you bought the fucking album, you fucking, fucking hypocrites. What is the lesson here? That unsavory topics are acceptable as long as they're presented like a joke? That's it's all right and actually encouraged, as long as no one mistakes it for a serious topic? That's it's okay in music and movies and comics but the moment you put it in a book, man you better fucking watch it.
And that's not even true. We've all read Lolita. Or actually, we probably have not. We don't need to know what's in it to know we don't like it. Well I've read Lolita. There's very little bush-beating (pedophile) involved but if you put Jeremy Irons in there and you lay his fabfabfabulous accent over that travesty, suddenly it's palatable. Now it's art. Now it sells a million copies and maybe they banned it once, but that was a long fucking time ago. Back when we were close minded and small. Wasn't it.
It's not the subject matter, we know that. We know that because laughing our fucking faces off at the Bloodhound Gang told us it wasn't the subject matter. It's not the criminal aspect, because we all love Nick Cave who once found Mary Bellows tied to a bed with a rag in her mouth and a bullet in her head. It's not the anti-social horror of it, because the Misfits are warning you, they will put a fucking knife right. in. you. And you know what? If it wasn't for date rape I'd never get laid either! Wheeee!! What is it? It's fucking packaging. It's a very serious topic. It makes us feel very serious. It makes us seriously consider taking our business elsewhere. Even though we've demonstrated that we really don't actually have any problem with the topic, as long as it's packaged properly. The author suddenly isn't a bad guy, he just has a bad marketing department. Take your book and put it in something slick and shiny and call it self-help. Call it a Psychology textbook. Call it anything other than what it is, which is a fucking aberration in ten point font. Call it a joke, and then we'll buy it. Just make sure it's packaged nicely because at our very core, we're a bunch of raccoons. A bunch of hypocritical raccoons with keyboards and logins, and pitchforks and torches. Fucking, fucking people.
posted by machine central at 8:06 AM
1 Comments:
This is...interesting to me, and illicits alot of immediate, and contradictory thoughts:
Yes, fucking hypocrites, always, using religion or moral compass to ignore certain easily digestible trespasses and pursue others.
That being said there is something to be said for shades of grey. I think this whenever I read an article about statutory rape: dude, he was 20 and she was 17? In my day that was called lucky. On the other hand...50 and 15? Dunno, she LOOKED 20, right? And he didn't FEEL 50.
It is hard to draw that line the sand and yet the gradations of grey begin with that fat black squiggle
that being said, people love to get self righteous. especially when it hints too close to home.
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