I used to live live

in a heartbeat city
I swear I'd fall in love every minute on the street
you might be walking around the corner
and our eyes might meet
where you been darlin darlin
where you been darlin darlin
where you been darlin we've been holdin this moment for you

I told you your dreams would come true


I am going to lose fifty pounds. I'm going to get a promotion. I'm going to ditch my roommates and clean up my yard and teach my dog to heel. I'm going to finish my degree or maybe start another one, here nor there, but I'm going to do something. I'm going to cut my hair or keep growing it, and I'm going to wear more colors or finally surrounder to the Gothic siren. I'm going to wear heels more or maybe I'll start going barefoot, but either way, something. I'm going to experiment with makeup and cover who I am right after I remove my tattoos to return to nature. I'm going to be so me that I won't even recognize me, but you'll like me how I am. Or how I will be. I promise. And in six or eight or ten months, when I am too me for you to be you, I'll understand completely.

Aren't you glad that you're keeping yourself, over and over and over while they come and go, that you're always you? You've never been anyone but you, even when you were so you they were blinded by it and turned their heads lest they crumple to dust. So, so, so many of them, and only one you. I'm proud of you. I know that it's always hard, and that every single time makes it a little harder the next time, a little less shiny, a little more rust. And I want to say that they're so stupid, and that they don't know what they're doing and that they're going to wake up and be horrified when they realize but the truth is, well that's true. But the other truth is that you will always win, because you'll always have you. They'll keep coming, and you'll keep being you, and maybe one time it will stick. Who knows.