hey, love
we'll get away with it
Sometimes it seems that if there is no visible consequence, there is no lesson. What is the lesson that we learn from punishing ourselves, though? Because sometimes the backlash that no one knows about is so much more than that which could have come from any other avenue, even the one that the affronted lives on. Because they do not always know that they are affronted. Because sometimes, even when they do know, they do not necessarily make you feel that way, the lesson learned way, the only way that will ever really stick with you.
This is something that gets discussed a lot. With children, with spouses, with estranged friends. Apologize all you want, mother fucker, I'm still going to be mad. Or don't apologize at all, cause that's cool too, cause I don't really think you're sorry. And whose place is it to decide who and when penitence and repentance is called for? Perhaps it is only for us to decide. This situation should have some, this one, not necessarily. Unless you are an avenger, and I really, really try not to be an avenger. Or a score-keeper. Because I am not at all interested in receiving the line of guests that could be waiting at the I-did-them-wrong. Cause I have. Once. Generally, once. Because lesson learned, that was really shitty and we are lucky to have come out of that friends, or slumberers, or even family. It has not been the case in every situation, and sometimes it's difficult to let things go on both sides. I want to avenge. Myself, sometimes others. I want to know absolutely that they are sorry, that they have learned, that something has come of whatever mess and that I can point to some sort of growth as a direct result thus payment received, confirmation number jotted, transaction closed. And it rarely happens. And I am becoming okay with that, with the hope or knowledge that the universe keeps tabs and that I don't have to. Not only do I not have to, but I actually shouldn't. For reasons in addition to the ones described.
A very good friend of mine suggests that the universe does not require that you be sorry, it requires only that you not do it again. And that's really it, I think. Because sometimes we are not sorry. Not sorry that we did it, maybe sorry only that we got caught got hurt landed in the clink. Whichever. I am not always sorry. And there are many times that I know, I knowknowknow, that faced with the same situation, I would make the same mistake. Thus I must not be faced with the same situation. Or I could grow, and learn, and progress, and just not. I do not necessarily care to test this latter option. Very often.
The flip side, of course, is that sometimes you learn a very real lesson by getting away with it. The Holy shit, that was close lesson. The That could have gone really, really bad lesson. Now and then I think that I am ripping someone off by not sharing this lesson with them. Currently, I keep thinking that there is a lesson just aching to be doled out in Salem. Because what when you are not sorry and do it again anyway? Then what, Universe?
Sometimes it seems that if there is no visible consequence, there is no lesson. What is the lesson that we learn from punishing ourselves, though? Because sometimes the backlash that no one knows about is so much more than that which could have come from any other avenue, even the one that the affronted lives on. Because they do not always know that they are affronted. Because sometimes, even when they do know, they do not necessarily make you feel that way, the lesson learned way, the only way that will ever really stick with you.
This is something that gets discussed a lot. With children, with spouses, with estranged friends. Apologize all you want, mother fucker, I'm still going to be mad. Or don't apologize at all, cause that's cool too, cause I don't really think you're sorry. And whose place is it to decide who and when penitence and repentance is called for? Perhaps it is only for us to decide. This situation should have some, this one, not necessarily. Unless you are an avenger, and I really, really try not to be an avenger. Or a score-keeper. Because I am not at all interested in receiving the line of guests that could be waiting at the I-did-them-wrong. Cause I have. Once. Generally, once. Because lesson learned, that was really shitty and we are lucky to have come out of that friends, or slumberers, or even family. It has not been the case in every situation, and sometimes it's difficult to let things go on both sides. I want to avenge. Myself, sometimes others. I want to know absolutely that they are sorry, that they have learned, that something has come of whatever mess and that I can point to some sort of growth as a direct result thus payment received, confirmation number jotted, transaction closed. And it rarely happens. And I am becoming okay with that, with the hope or knowledge that the universe keeps tabs and that I don't have to. Not only do I not have to, but I actually shouldn't. For reasons in addition to the ones described.
A very good friend of mine suggests that the universe does not require that you be sorry, it requires only that you not do it again. And that's really it, I think. Because sometimes we are not sorry. Not sorry that we did it, maybe sorry only that we got caught got hurt landed in the clink. Whichever. I am not always sorry. And there are many times that I know, I knowknowknow, that faced with the same situation, I would make the same mistake. Thus I must not be faced with the same situation. Or I could grow, and learn, and progress, and just not. I do not necessarily care to test this latter option. Very often.
The flip side, of course, is that sometimes you learn a very real lesson by getting away with it. The Holy shit, that was close lesson. The That could have gone really, really bad lesson. Now and then I think that I am ripping someone off by not sharing this lesson with them. Currently, I keep thinking that there is a lesson just aching to be doled out in Salem. Because what when you are not sorry and do it again anyway? Then what, Universe?
posted by machine central at 4:49 PM
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