now and at the time of our deaths

mer·cy P Pronunciation Key (mûrs)
n. pl. mer·cies
Compassionate treatment, especially of those under one's power; clemency.


com·pas·sion P Pronunciation Key (km-pshn)
n.
Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it


So mercy is an awareness of the suffering of those under your power, and your wish to relieve it. I get that. I mean, I understand that. What I do not get is where it has gone, anymore.

I'm watching these things, these relationships, and I wonder where this is? We all learned it when we were kids, bendthefingers mercy. Make it stop. I can't take anymore. Mercy. Why is this not a floor model component of our personal relationships? It should come standard. When you see that someone has had enough, you know, alleviate.

We are under each other's power, all the time. I don't have to be your subservient to be under your power. It could be that you know what you do to me, and you run with it and you take it for all it's worth and maybe sometimes you abuse that power. When you see that it causes suffering, when it has gone beyond the fun and is now something more than that, hey, just stop, you know? One way or the other. Either stop it, or stop it. Don't do it cause you can. When you see that you are killing your wife, man, you are killing her. She's not beaten but she's just fucking dying, how is it that you can let that continue? You know it's happening, you can fix it, one way or another you can stop the bleeding. Cause you can wrap it or you can cut it off.

Maybe it doesn't always end well, either. Maybe the alleviation means the end of something, but that is merciful too. Maybe the mercy is that instead of cheating on her you leave her. Maybe instead of taking her home you take her home. Maybe, maybe it is not what you want to do, but that is not always what you need to do.

I used to ask my husband, who is not my husband any more, at what point he would decide that I had had enough. When is it going to stop? And he would say I don't know. And I would wonder why I did not just make that decision myself, that I had had enough, that I could not take any more. Why could I not make that decision myself? And this is where the definition includes Those under your power. Under your power. Powerless to stop it themselves, which is not a place that anyone wants to be and was not a place that I wanted to be and was not a position that I was proud to be in, or ever expected to find myself in, but there it was. I could not do it myself. I was powerless to stop my own suffering. At the mercy, the mercy, of my merciless spouse. And eventually, it came about. Not in the way I had expected, and not really due to his compassion, but he stopped it. He stopped it by cutting it off, and then he was gone. Sometimes that's the way to do it, then. Even though I thought it would kill me, he is not doing it any more. Not on that scale. And that, after it spins out a few years, is merciful. He did not continue it out until the end of our lives. I should thank him for that. If I see him again I most certainly will. I will thank him, as hard and fast as I can. Without mercy.

You are wandering around out there, you, all of you, and you know what you do to people. You know how they go for it, you know they would give you anything you want. Even things that you don't want, they're yours. This is because you are powerful, and you wear that power like a sword; you use it and you cut through defenses and you mow down judgement and who knows why you got this instead of the next guy, who knows, but you have it. It is not always fair. It is not always deserved. You do not always wear it well and sometimes you are the tyrant, you are the despot and the people under your power are reduced to begging silently, just make it stop. And their friends are telling them to save themselves but they can't, because they just can't. And this is when it falls to you to be merciful. Let her go. Stop what you are doing. Even if it hurts worse today, let it go for tomorrow, or the next day, or however long it takes for you to wear off. For the marks of your rule to fade. As long as it takes, until she is the queen of her own country again.