They are fools to make war

So, I’ve noticed, I can’t help but notice, the reluctance associated with dating seeing going out falling in with a single mother. I understand, you know. No, I do. It’s a lot to take on. It’s a big deal. It’s a sudden thrust into a different world, a different life, a way of doing EVERYthing and it’s a way that you didn’t expect, you didn’t anticipate and you sure as hell did not sign up for. I get it. Those are someone else’s children. They are baggage. A hindrance.

Here’s what you don’t get, man, what you will never get. Those kids, the fact of them, their presence, make me a different girl. A better girl. A whole different animal. They make me someone I would not have been without them, and someone my former self could never compete with. I’m thoughtful. I’m considerate. I’m kind and attentive and viciously protective. I’m caring and nurturing and these, I think, are not bad things. These are things I’m proud of, things that I would look for in another person, were I looking. They are the things that you said you were looking for, but without the accompanying others.

It’s funny, see, cause we could go out for a year without you ever seeing them. You may never meet them. The odds are very good that I will have done with you long before I feel comfortable having you anywhere near them. And really, at your age, at the place you’re in, I think that’s long enough. It’s my favorite conversation, you know, my favorite thing to hear. Yeah, you’re the greatest and the best, you’re amazing and I’m happy that I even met you, I just wish you didn’t have children.

You wish I didn’t have children. Yeah I wish you had an extra kidney. What? I wish you didn’t have kneecaps, that’s how stupid that is. Your cat, man, if you could just get rid of that cat, cause I love you and man, your cat is just fucking it up for me. You, that you would even let something so stupid come out of your mouth. You’re so funny and smart and no matter what you think I think you’re beautiful, I want to take you everywhere and go nowhere and do everything and nothing because you do it to me, you do it to me and I want that, I want to have that feeling forever, but those kids, you know.

I don’t know what to tell you. I guess that is not true, because I do tell you, and in no uncertain terms. Those kids are off limits, you don’t even get to make that decision. That’s not your call, your place to say that, because I did not offer them to you and I wasn’t planning to. They are more interesting than anyone I know, and I choose them over the rest of the planet every day, every day and don’t apologize for the fact that you don’t want them, because they don’t want you either. You don’t want to be a dad, that’s cool, because they don’t need one and they don’t want you to be one either. We’re fine, just how we are. Did I not seem fine? Did I appear to be in distress, in some way, when you met me? Did I appear to be lacking something fundamental which only you could provide? No? Well, there you go then. We have a good life. If you were lucky maybe you would be invited to be a part of it. If you weren’t such a raging nimrod.